Yet more bad news from the Flatland banking sector: the Chicken Bank has discovered that a load of its golden eggs are smashed, and can't even make an omelette out of them. It acquired them a few years ago as a job lot when it took over the Flatannia Building Society. The FCA (Flatland Chicken Authority) definitely has egg on its face, having only recently touted the Chicken Bank as a suitable purchaser of a clutch of high street bank branches. So, as usual, victims must be found, and the holders of subordinated bonds and Permanent Egg-Bearing Securities will be well and truly plucked. Executives sitting in the Chicken Coop will, of course, receive their customary large bonuses.
A new Governor of the Bank of Flatland has been recruited at great expense from Mooseland. His role, it appears, is to issue loads of banknotes when nobody is looking, so as to meet the government's burgeoning debts. Meanwhile, the Chief Circle is playing host to a group of eight nations, together with assorted hangers-on, liggers, bloodsuckers and general detritus. The meeting will, of course, be a load of hot air, whilst the attendees pose for contrived photo-ops. Even the Bilderbergers will appear more sincere than this assembly of Janus-faced satraps.