Warmly by the Throat

As so often, there is a spot of bother in Flatland. As is well known, female Flatlanders are basically needle-shaped. One of our more-prominent citizens - an Octagon, no less - was dining with his voluptuous wife, fondly admiring with his hands what he took to be her slender waist, when it transpired that he had been inadvertently throttling the good lady. She subsequently took off in a huff without even issuing the obligatory Peace Cry, and her location is currently unclear. Unfortunately some footage of the incident found its way to PC Plod, who insists upon playing and replaying the heaving of the lady's embonpoint, under the pretext of crime investigation.