Monday, July 22, 2013

Royal Circles

The Democratic People's Republic of Flatland has a new prince. (Readers who believe the co-existence of a royal family and a republic to be an impossibility are referred to the penultimate posting from our beloved nation.) Naturally the child is perfectly circular, and is likely to be named Eggfrith Louis Crosscheck-Doors James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby George Dupree or some such nonsensical confection. The Chief Circle will be mightily pleased to have this distraction, which might head off any hot-weather rioting by members of the Triangular classes. Flatland's idiot heir to the throne - grandfather to the newborn - will probably sing Ying Tong Iddle I Po. A 41-gun salute tomorrow will involve the firing of lead circles into empty space, indicating to the world what a vibrant up-to-date nation The Democratic People's Republic of Flatland truly is.

As usual, Flatland's political parties are flat broke, willing to solicit donations from all kinds of undesirables in exchange for promises of future titles, largesse from the Publick Purse, and similar favours. The Blue, Yellow and Red factions are equally guilty of these practices. FlatKIP - a party that advocates breaking off relations with the League of Medland Nations would probably not be any better in this regard, but has yet to wield sufficient political power for this premise to be scientifically tested.

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