Once a year in Flatland, its Chief Financial Officer stands up and spends an hour boring its citizens with news of how much he will extract from their purses in order to line the pockets of his friends, hordes of public officials, and hangers-on. The average Triangle is clueless about the fashion by which his pocket is thereby picked, and even the Square and Pentagon classes have an imperfect notion of where they are about to lose out. So dysfunctional are Flatland's politicos that they didn't notice for years that one of their number - a female of the Blue Faction - was making dodgy expense claims. Whilst this is a hanging offence if committed by a member of the proletariat Triangle class, it is standard behaviour for Circles, who make up the majority of the political class.
President Input's merry men continue to provoke havoc in and around FlatCrim. His army stands ready to move further into Flatkraine, once a plausible disturbance is generated. It can only be a matter of time before Northland claims the entire Arctic Circle as its historic and indivisible territory. Once every Eskimo has become a Northlander, the plains of Southern Africa will inevitably be annexed, along with its Hottentot tribesmen and their whistling language.
Correspondents in FlatUS report some technology news - the MicroFlat Corporation is no longer going to support its ageing Slits XP operating system, potentially rendering a third of existing computers unusable.
The Democratic Peoples' Republic of Flatland has sent some of its Royal Family on tour to a far, far nation - AllBlackLand. Here they are subjected to bizarre ceremonies involving fierce scantily-dressed warriors. The youngest scion - Prince Eggfrith Louis Crosscheck-Doors James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby George Dupree - was displayed briefly to the curious local inhabitants, when whisked away out of sight whilst his mother rubbed noses with some dignitary. Such are the indignities to which Flatland's royals are subject. They would be advised to learn Northlandian before their next foreign trip.