Monday, March 25, 2013
Problems with Triangles
(A Square writes) You can never trust the Lower Orders. Turn your back on them for a moment and they're up to no good. The latest fad of theirs is baking triangular flapjacks and hurling them into meetings at which their betters (Squares, Pentagons and Higher Orders) are discoursing on the finer points of Philosophy. Whilst one can see the class symbolism of such acts, even the humblest scalene Triangle ought to be aware of the danger of such reckless behaviour. Only today the Daily Flatgraph reported that a local school has banned the cooking of such angular shapes, mandating instead more regular forms such as an Octagon (the High Master is an Octagon). Meanwhile, our finest minds have come up with a wizard way of escaping from the banking crisis that continues to plague our nation. We have closed our banks for over a week, and now we will shutter the Flatland Popular Bank, and move all its small depositors to the Popular Bank of Flatland. The remaining depositors, who are overwhelmingly citizens of Northland, and do not possess a vote in Flatland, will be well and truly skewered. If they are lucky, they might get a fancy coloured piece of paper purporting to be shares in the Flatland Popular Bank. However, since every customer will have deserted the bank, there will be no value in this scrip. President Input of Northland is speechless with rage, and is rumoured to be about to switch off the supply of gas (again) to the LMN (League of Medland Nations), who are complicit in all this thimblerigging. Can it be long before the speculators in the Flatland Stock Exchange tumble to what is going on, and start to panic sell?